belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
