We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
