I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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