covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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