Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
