im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
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