pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
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