He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
