Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
