I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
It's blow job season.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
