9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I smell like Dick and happiness
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