Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
