do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
ttyl tear gas
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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