She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
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