I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
