It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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