it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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