: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
