check it out our google latitudes are spooning
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Randomize
