last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
