Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Holy sore nipples Batman
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
