he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
vagina is talking i cant
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
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