It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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