Yo dont text me then not text me
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
