I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
