I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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