she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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