My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
