Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
