SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
