If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
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