I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Randomize
