oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
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