i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
