the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Do you have feelings for this penis?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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