lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I need to stop coming to work sober
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
