as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
My vagina just recognized that song.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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