How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Randomize
