she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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