someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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