I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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