That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
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