I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
