hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
