well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
