It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
