She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
