My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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