Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
