i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
