she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
