a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
