I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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